well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
