Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
