wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
