Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Everclear isn't food dammit
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
