First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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