Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
