Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
