Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
