Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
