Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize