this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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