I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
