Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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