Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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