i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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