ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
