I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need a beard to bite.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
