You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She tied me up with her honor cords...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
