i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
