When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
