My brain says no but my pants say off.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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