"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
