okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
