If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
