look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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