My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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