I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
