i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
