Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
