areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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