And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
