I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
