I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
