butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
