There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
