While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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