I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
