Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Blood and glitter go together right?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
