rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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