Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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