Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
