She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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