I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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