everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
