So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
