How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
