May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
