I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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