hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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