I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
