He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
