we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
