You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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