you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
