apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
