it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
